Conversation Snippets from a Family Campfire

“Brent, leave your brother alone.”

“Man, I look back in my rearview mirror and Dean’s comin’ over the hill there. Looked like he plowed through more than jumped it, but anyways he gets a buncha air and he comes down on the nose like this, and then his back end hit pretty hard too. I imagine it’s cause he’s so front heavy with that big block.”

“Did you try this yet? It’s wheat beer, try it.”

“I says to him I says ‘Steve, Andrew’s always smelled like that.’”

“Mmm, yeah that’s not bad. It’s like a Belgian-ish…yeah.”

“Brent! I said stop. Do you wanna go to bed?”

“HE PUSHED ME!”

“I know, Sweetie.”

“So anyway he gets out and his front end’s all pushed back and his bumper’s all smashed in, then he himself’s just layin’ in the sand goin’ ‘I’m done! No more dunin’ fer me.’ And Little David goes, “It’s times like these I’m glad I’m not married.” And I says ‘at least not married to Mona.’”

“I have long legs. I’m like a flamingo.”

“Sam, never pull your shorts up that far again.”

“Abby! GET OUT OF THE ROAD!”

“Shut up, Sam. –God, I have to ride home tomorrow with that retard. I’ll probably just try to finish my book.”

"Abby’s abusing Uncle Dave."

“Uhp! Got your nose!”

“GOTCHHAAEYE! EEEEEEEeeeeeee!”

“God we read so many gay books for twentieth century lit. Cold Sassy Tree: gayest book ever. It was terrible. I sparknoted the whole thing.”

“We think the axle’s bent and the suspension’s all screwed up. I’m kinda surprised the frame isn’t bent too, old as that thing was. I seen him come over that peak and it was just…”

“Oh no! I’m blind! Come back here with my eye!”

“ABBY! Stay away from the fire!”

“Sam, how many marshmallows is that?”

“Mom, Bwadley thwew a stick at my face…”

“NO I DIDN’T!”

“Dude, my hockey bag is gonna be rank when I get home.”

“It’s only my third one!”

“Yeah right. I’ve seen you eat like seven.”

“David, Andrew was tellin’ me that the hockey guys in Flushing pee on each other all the time. Did they have that in Petoskey?”

“Yeah, it’s bad. Goalie peed on one of the defensemen. We have a bad reputation.”

“Abby! Stop ramming your cousin David with the stroller.”

“EEEEEeeeeeEEE”

“Remember when I drove your car into the fire?”